Alexandria

Wait? I'm Autistic?

personalphysiological

Autism Spectrum Disorder is defined as:

"a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by deficits in social
communication and the presence of restricted interests and repetitive
behaviors." - NIH

Although, we commonly disregard this definition. Instead, we adopt the idea of Hollywood Autism: insufferable, literal-minded, emotionless, and robotic. Or should I say-subhuman. Because that’s what this characterization offers. We maintain and assert our superiority over the growing capability of computers by taking comfort in our possession of emotions, our ability to feel. Thus, this misconception of autism naturally leads people to demote the fundamental humanity of autistic people; we are led to see them as subhuman.

Another interesting consequence of this stereotype is that it occludes the graduated nature of Autism. Which in turn, produces an uncomfortable limbo state for those on spectrum who don’t fit into this very specific manifestation of it.

Before talking about my own experience with autism and some misheld conceptions of the disorder through the Hollywood lense, I want to explore some interesting theories that enlighten us to the autistic condition.

The Autistic Condition (WIP)

Intense World Theory (WIP)

A lot of the symptons in Autism are characterized as a deficiency. Most prominently the deficit in social communication. Yet, these same people also exhibit an hyper(WIP) for their interests. This may seem contradictory or confusing, but I find that there’s a clear unitary explanation for this manifestation of autism. That would be Intense World Theory (WIP-add link). In Intense World Theory, one’s brain is running in hyperdrive in every capacity. For social interactions this is seen as information overload that causes one to be unable to parse any individual detail. It’s like being in the middle of a packed roaring stadium and trying to pick out what any single person is saying.

For example, eye contact. Autistic people often avoid eye contact, likely because it’s one of the most informationally dense stimuli out there (WIP). Making eye contact with someone feels akin to looking directly at the sun. So painful you have to avert your gaze. It doesn’t help the amgydala gets blown up beyond reason, making us think we’re about to become incinerated when we for the most transient of moments lock with someone else’s eyes.

The Double Empathy Problem (WIP)

Prior to Diagnosis (WIP)

Post Diagnosis (WIP)